Books in Progress
An Excerpt
1
Fear. She could feel it as if it was her own. She couldn’t breathe; it was as if someone was cutting off her air supply. Her heart was beating fast as her skin prickled with needle like pain.
She wanted to curl up in a fetal position and hope the images would go away, but from experience she knew they wouldn’t. She wanted to tell him to run, to get away from the monster but nothing escaped past by the big lump in her throat.
How could he not realize the real danger he was in? The monster was standing right in front of him and he was just talking as if nothing was about to happen. She had to do something; she had to let him see that if he didn’t run he would die. She fought against the lump in her throat, breathing through her paralysis as the evil being reached out for him.
“Run Christopher!” a frantic scream made its way up her throat.
Lights flooded the room blinding her momentarily.
“Trinity, sweetheart you’re having another one of your nightmares,” her mother said, coming to sit next to her on the bed and running a hand over her damp forehead.
Trinity sighed, and looked at the only parent she’d known and loved since she was nine.
“I’m sorry if I woke you mum.”
“You didn’t, I was up already making breakfast. I’m worried about you, this is the fourth one this week, you’ve never had them this often before. Are you okay?” her
mother asked frowning.
Trinity nodded. Her mother was right, her dreams had increased in the last few days making her worried that something must have happened to Christopher, or was about to if the dream she just had was any indication.
“This one sounded worst than the others. Do you want me to call Dr. Chattman and see if he has an appointment available?” she said, moving a lock of stray hair from trinity’s forehead.
“No, I’m fine. It’s not like he can do anything other than tell me I’m crazy,” she muttered.
“Trinity, he never said you were crazy,” her mother chastened.
“Not in so many words. You think so too.”
“No I don’t, I’m just worried about you that’s all. I don’t like seeing you like this.”
“And I don’t like having these weird dreams, but I do and I can’t stop them. He’s in danger mum and I don’t think he knows it. I have to find him,” Trinity said gripping the sheet.
“We’ve talked about this sweetheart, we don’t know if this boy you’re dreaming about is even real. You heard what Dr. Chattman said, these dreams could be a manifestation of stress from studying for exams.”
“Mum I know he’s real, I can feel it. If he wasn’t why would I know his name?”
“I don’t know baby, maybe you heard it somewhere at school or work. There could be a lot of reasons, Christopher is a popular name.”
“Yes, but if I was stress would I be dreaming of him all the time? Wouldn’t my dream vary? He has the same birthmark as I do, how do we explain that?”
“That’s a good question. We can’t, not unless you’re giving him characteristics you want him to have.”
“Are you saying I’m dreaming of him because I want too, or that he has the birthmark because I gave it to him?”
“No, of course not. I just meant the only explanation for the birthmark could be you’re looking to find a connection to him, and that’s why you think he might have one too. Lets not argue about this. We’ve argued over this boy who might not even exist enough times already.”
“Maybe if I meet with him your fears that I’m going crazy will be put to rest, and I can ask him why we share the same birthmark.”
“How are you going to do that, you don’t have a last name or an address.”
“Hooper.”
“Pardon?”
“His name is Christopher Hooper.”
“When did you find out his last name?” her mother asked in surprise.
“Two days ago.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Trinity sighed; she didn’t keep it purposely from her mother to hurt her. She knew her mother loved her, but these dreams had scared the stuffing out of her to the extent that she’d seek help for Trinity in the form of Dr. Chattman. She didn’t want to burden her anymore than she had to.
“Well because I knew you’d think it’s a bad idea to contact him.”
“Well I wouldn’t be wrong. Apart from not knowing what kind of person he is,
he’s still a stranger and could be a criminal for all we know.”
Trinity laughed, the thought of sweet, awkward Christopher being a criminal was funny.
“Now who has an overactive imagination? He doesn’t strike me like the harmful kind of guy.”
“You still need to be careful; this daredevil attitude of yours will get you in trouble one of these days.”
“And you can’t protect me the rest of your life mum, let me make some mistakes. I love you, but I need to do this. You can come with me if it will make you feel better.”
Zara sighed, “do you even know where he is? He can be in another country for all we know.”
“Nope, but I’m sure I’ll find out soon.”
“Honestly Trinity, you’re nineteen not nine, you need to learn to curb your impulsive nature,” her mother said with a smile and a shake of her head.
“I will someday, stop worrying,” she grinned.
“It’s my job to worry, I’m your mother. Sometimes I think you do these things to give me a heart attack.”
“I love you for worrying about me, when I find out where he is I’ll let you know.”
“Alright, but you’re okay otherwise?” her mother asked kissing her on the nose.
She wrapped her arms around her mother taking in the ginger and lavender scent of her shampoo.
“Yeah, I’m okay now that I’ve talked to you.”
“Well get up and get ready its 6:30, you don’t want to be late for class.”
“Thanks mum.”
“For what?”
“For always being you.”
“You’re welcome, now skit or breakfast will get cold,” she told her and left the room.
Trinity looked over at the cage on her bookcase. “Good morning Miss Kitty, I hope I didn’t scare you,” she said stretching and getting out of bed. She walked towards the hamster she had for the past two and a half years.
“After class, I’ll come home and take you out of your cage okay? We can do something since I don’t have to work today.”
Miss Kitty, looked at her with beady eyes then walked around in her cage.
“Okay girl I’ve got to go get ready, you know how mum is a stickler for punctuality. I better get ready before she comes in to get me and we don’t want her doing that do we? I’ll see you later be a good girl until then alright cutie.”
***
“Hey Trin, did you want to go to a movie or do something since exams are done?” Donna her best friend asked.
“Sorry Donna, I promised Miss Kitty I’ll come home right after school.”
“Honestly girl, I swear you spend more time with that rat than you do with anyone else.”
“Miss Kitty isn’t a rat, she’s a beautiful hamster.”
“Whatever, they all look the same to me. Hamster, rabbit, rat, aren’t they in the same family?”
“Have you ever thought maybe it’s because she’s much better company than most of the people I know that’s why I spend so much time with her?”
“Ouch, that one cut deep,” Donna said, putting a hand over her heart.
“You know I’m not talking about you,” Trinity hugged her.
“I know, but if I didn’t know you before you got that thing, I would be offended.”
“You know Miss Kitty is special to me, because I’m in college doesn’t mean I get to forget about her. I’ve spent the last couple of weeks studying and working I’m rarely home to see her as it is.”
“I know what she means to you Trin. I remember the day your mum brought her home. It was the first time you smiled in the month since you found out Peter died. I remember your mum crying for like five minutes straight and how freaked out we were.”
“Yeah, I couldn’t get her to stop crying so she could tell me what was wrong. I hate it when she cries. That’s why I try not to be too much of a burden,” she said thinking of her mother’s worried face this morning.
“She was just happy to see you finally smiling again. She’d been worried about you, so was I.”
“I know. It was never my intention to make you guys worry but Peter was the closest thing I had to a brother. When I found out he died it hurt a lot because he was two years younger than I was. I thought those people who adopted him were good people. I didn’t expect the mother would kill herself along with him,” she said blinking.
“People are fucked up Trin, that’s how the world is today.”
“He liked hamsters you know, when we were in foster care together he always wanted one, but the family we were with was allergic. He always said when he had a family of his own he was going to get one, I often wondered if he did.”
“Your mum told me you told her once how much he loved hamsters, that’s why she bought you one.”
“I figure as much, I can’t believe she remembered though, that was when I was first adopted.”
“I think your mum remembers everything you told her that first year, she loves you.”
Trinity smiled, there wasn’t any doubt her mother loved her. She was one of the lucky ones.
“I know and I love her too, how can I not when she could have had a smaller child but took in a nine year old instead?”
“Well that hamster of yours is spoiled and lucky you’re its owner. If she was mine she wouldn’t be as pampered as she is,” Donna said with a sniff.
“That’s why you don’t have a pet,” Trinity chuckled as she thought of Miss Kitty. If she could read her pet’s mind she’ll say the little fur ball would say it’s the other way around. That Trinity was the one who was lucky to have her. Maybe she was right.
“I’ll tell her you said that. How about we do something tomorrow instead, that is if you’re free?”
“How about shopping? I need some things to walk with on my family vacay.”
“Sure but I’m warning you, I won’t be doing any of the shopping. I’ve been saving up the money I make from work and tutoring to take mum to Cuba. She’s been working so much lately.”
“She’ll love that.”
“Don’t tell her anything, I want it to be a surprise, and anyway I’m a couple pay cheques away from having enough for both tickets.”
“Of course, I wouldn’t tell her. I’ll see you tomorrow call me if you change your mind about a movie tonight.”
“I will.”
She watched as Donna crossed the street and continued to walk. The weather wasn’t bad for the end of April, so she decided to walk the six blocks home instead of
taking the bus.
“Trinity wait up!”
She stiffened and continued walking pretending she didn’t hear Josh calling out to her. She’d gone out with him twice. The first time had been a set up by Donna. He was the friend of her boyfriend at the time, and she wanted a date for him. She thought it would be great if they could double date after she begged Trinity to do her a favour.
The second time had been her decision. She’d been curious about sex and thought he would be the perfect guy to experiment with. They’d both last their virginity that night and she, her interest in him. That had been six months ago. Yet no matter how many times she told him she wasn’t interested in a relationship with him, he always took her rejection as playing hard to get. He wasn’t a bad guy, but his clinginess annoyed the hell out of her at times, sometimes she wondered if he didn’t have any self respect.
Donna thought it was sweet how he followed her around, but not her, she saw it as a form of weakness. Weren’t men supposed to be all macho, keeping their feelings to themselves? Trinity sighed; it would be so easy to be his friend if he wasn’t hell bent on wanting a relationship with her. She was afraid if she even suggested any form of friendship he would think there was hope for them.
Donna thought she had relationship issues and that’s why she had a problem giving him a chance, but she didn’t think that was it. She had a perfectly well balanced relationship with her mother, Donna and Miss Kitty, so her friend’s theory was off. She just didn’t feel the need to tie herself to someone because everyone around her was doing it. Plus she’d had sex and its way overrated than what everyone else is talking about.
“Trinity, I called out to you, didn’t you hear me?”
“Josh, you did?” she asked innocently.
“Yes, now that exams are finished what are your plans for the summer? I was thinking—”
That was dangerous; she might as well stop him from thinking too much now. “My summer is fully booked, mum and I are going away and I’ll be working most of the time after we get back.”
“Oh,” he said shoulders slumping.
There goes the deflated self esteem. She wished he’d grow a pair and tell her to fuck off, at least show that he has a backbone or something.
“I hope you have a fun summer though,” she said smiling at him.
“Thanks, you too. I’ll see you in September then.”
Damn she hated it when he has that wounded puppy dog look. Because they lost their virginity together didn’t mean they were meant for each other. She needed to drive that point home so he doesn’t spend the summer thinking of reasons why they are right for each other.
“Josh, wait.”
“Yes?” he asked, looking hopeful.
It was too painful to watch.
“I’m not the girl for you; trust me when I say that. There’s a nice girl out there looking for a great guy like you. If you don’t give yourself a chance to find her, then you will be cheating yourself of the relationship you obviously want.”
“It’s something I did isn’t it? Is it because I came too fast? That’s because it was my first time.”
“No, you did nothing wrong. Don’t get stuck on the fact that because you lost your virginity to me we have to be together.”
She walked to him and kissed him on the cheek. “You’re a good guy Josh, but there’s just no chemistry between us to last through a relationship. Even if I wanted a relationship with you, it still wouldn’t work we’ll both end up just hurting each other. To tell you the truth, I’m not looking for any sort of relationship long-term or otherwise.”
“Thank you for your honesty Trinity, see you around.”
She watched him walk away hoping he’d be okay. She wasn’t lying when she said she didn’t want any sort of relationship. She just wished she didn’t feel like shit as she watched him walk away from her. His shoulders slumped reminding her of… of Christopher. The thought popped into her head.
Christopher. Maybe that’s why she wasn’t attracted to Josh, because she saw some of Christopher in him. Not the clingy part, but the way he walks or run his hand through his hair. They both had that good boy thing going on for them, maybe that was her problem. She wanted someone who wasn’t so good, or maybe she wasn’t attracted to Josh because of the way she felt about Christopher. She had been feeling these strange feelings of kinship towards him, as if they could be related.
Of course, she didn’t tell her mother that. She was already worried that Trinity wanted to meet this boy from her dreams; the last thing she wanted was to tell her she thought they could be related. She sure as heck couldn’t tell that crack Chattman, he might just use it as an opportunity to get more money out of her mother or try and have Trinity committed. She’d seen the way he looked at her, as if he wished he could use her for a laboratory test. If she didn’t want to put her mother’s mind at ease she would have stopped going to his therapy sessions a long time ago.
With school being out she could spend her time trying to look for Christopher. She just needed a clue on where to start. She never saw a street sign or anything in her dreams that would tip her off to where he could be living. Her mother was right, he could be in another country, but she didn’t think so. She thought he could even be here in Calgary. When she got home, after she played with Miss Kitty, she’ll do an internet search for people in the city with the name Christopher Hooper and see if she got any hits.
“Stay safe Christopher,” she whispered thinking of the dream she had this morning. She hoped that he was okay and that the dream was just that, a dream
The clouds above her suddenly darkened and the air suddenly became still. A chill descend around her. She quickened her pace as a feel of uneasiness washed over her. Goosebumps prickled her skin as if she’s being watched. She slowed her walking and scanned the streets looking to see if anyone was watching her, or if anything seemed out of the ordinary, but everything seem to be fine. Two more blocks before she was home and secure in the house, she thought wrapping her arms around her as she tried warming herself.
***
By the time the small cottage came into view Trinity couldn’t help but let out a
sigh of relief. Even though the weird feeling hadn’t left her she was glad to be home. She walked up the sidewalk to the cottage she shared with her mother and saw that her mother’s car was in the driveway. What was her mother doing home so early? It was only 2 pm. was she sick?
The thought had her hurrying up to the house. She pulled her key out and was about to shove it in the lock when the door push slightly open. She frowned it’s not like her mother to leave the house door open, not unless she was just here to pick up something in a rush. She walked into the house and that feeling of dread she had on her way home intensified.
She closed the door making sure to lock it as she walked to the living room where the television was on.
“Mum are you okay? I saw your car—” she stopped when she didn’t see anyone looking at the television.
She frowned and walked around the couch maybe her mother had fallen asleep with the television on. Instead of finding her mother asleep on the couch she found her hamster sitting there eyes trained on the television.
“What the…Miss Kitty? How did you get out of your cage, and what are you doing here watching television?”
The hamster looked at her then turn her attention back to the show. Well I’ll be damned. Maybe her mother let her out and turned the television on. Trinity give Miss Kitty one last look before turning and walking down the hallway to the bedrooms.
“Mum I’m home are you in your room? You better answer or I’m going to have sex with the boy I brought home,” she called, hoping to get her mother’s attention.
When she didn’t hear anything, not even the snappy come back her mother always
Had ready, Trinity knew that something was definitely wrong. It was a gut instinct but there was something else. The smell. She knew it too well, that metallic smell of blood. She was use to it from cutting herself too many times and from her period that she hated so much. She hurried to her mother’s room which was closed; her mother’s door was never closed when she was home.
Heart pounding in her chest, she gripped the door knob with shaking hand and slowly turned it, silently praying what she meet on the other side isn’t what she was thinking. Her stomach churned as the metallic scent became stronger assailing her nostril cavities. She closed her eyes trying not to retch but also preparing herself for what she might see. She slowly opened her eyes and made herself look around the room.
Her heart stopped at the horrific scene laid out in front of her. Her head swam and her breath caught in her throat as her body froze in its tracks. No! This wasn’t happening, it couldn’t be, her brain screamed as she stared at the bloodied body sprawled out on the white rug before her, pools of red matted into every fiber of the carpet. Her mother couldn’t be dead. Mama, mum, mummy, she silently cried as her vision became blurred. Why couldn’t she move her feet?
She pushed her body forward until she found herself falling face down on the floor in front of her mother.
“Mum, mummy wake up, please talk to me,” she pleaded pulled her to her chest hugging her limp body close to her.
“Please mama, don’t leave me, I promise I won’t look for Christopher and I’ll be more careful and less impulsive. Please come back to me. Mama!” she cried.
Nine-one-one, they can help. She laid her mother down and turned to reach for the
phone by her bedside when something caught her eyes at the door. Looking for a weapon to defend them both she was relieved to see that it was only Miss Kitty who had wondered in. She grabbed the phone off the night table and dialed the emergency number.
“911 emergency how may I help you.”
“Please I need help, I think someone has killed my mother.”